


Dick Tea

by The Monster Lady (VisceraNight)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkwardness, Humor, Implied/Referenced Masturbation, Other, Sexual Humor, Sounding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 15:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6430447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/The%20Monster%20Lady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[A brief, cracky follow-up to Island_of_Reil's "Stirred".]</p><p>Jean wonders if the captain's tea tastes any different this morning...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dick Tea

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Stirred](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6363448) by [Island_of_Reil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Island_of_Reil/pseuds/Island_of_Reil). 



> ...because Levi stirred it with something that Jean had down his dickhole last night.

~ Dick Tea ~

When Jean got up and went down to the dining room for breakfast, he was surprised to find Captain Levi lingering there with a newspaper spread out before him on the table, leisurely enjoying a cup of tea as he read. To the left of the paper, there was a saucer and balanced on the outer edge of the saucer was one of the fancy glass stir sticks.

Upon seeing the stick, Jean had to suppress the urge to giggle. It probably wasn't even the same one he'd used. The patterns on them were each different colors. (Well, there were two blues - one light blue and one dark blue.) The one Jean had used had orange bubbles, and the one on Levi's saucer was... Jean glanced at it again. Orange bubbles. Fuck.

"Does your tea taste any different this morning, Captain?" he blurted out before he could even think to stop himself.

"No, why?" Levi replied. The captain's eyes narrowed as he glared at the younger soldier, wondering if the boy had done something to his tea. Looking up from the paper, he saw that Jean's fascinated gaze seemed to be locked onto the stir stick. Levi snorted. "What, you think stirring it with this instead of a spoon makes it taste different?"

Not knowing how else to respond, Jean nodded slowly.

"It doesn't," Levi said, and returned his attention to the newspaper.

"If... if you don't mind me asking, sir," Jean began hesitantly. "Why did you pick that particular stick?"

Levi just looked at him like he was stupid for a long moment, before finally answering, "It looked the cleanest."

Jean was sorely tempted to tell the captain that reason it was so much cleaner than the rest of them was because of how much time he'd spent scrubbing it after sticking it down his dickhole last night. But he decided he didn't want to die today, so he hurried into the kitchen to grab some food to stuff in his mouth before any more stupid words could come out of it.

~end~

**Author's Note:**

> BONUS ALTERNATE TAKE:
> 
> "What, you think stirring it with this instead of a spoon makes it taste different?"
> 
> Not knowing how else to respond, Jean nodded slowly.
> 
> "Yeah," Levi deadpanned. "Tastes less spoony."


End file.
